Friday, 28 December 2007

That was the year that was

That was the year that was . . . thank god it's over. It has to have been the worst year of my life.

My darling daughter lost the plot and dropped out of school - I have no idea where we got the strength to get to the end of the year but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Relationships floundered along the way and many times there has been no one to talk to except each other and this is probably why we made it through.

I though my mother was kidding when she said when I told her I was pregnant for the third time, "I hope you have a girl to do to you what you did to me" All I can say is, "Mum forgive me."

Along the way our boys have struggled to cope with their sister's erratic and sometimes violent behaviour and have at times felt completely left out. This was not intentional - I love all my children dearly and was consumed with a guilt for ignoring my boys (not intentionally) and wondering what the hell we'd done wrong.

That was the year that was. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully 2008 will be full of promise and opportunity. All too often in 2007 I recorded day to events which did nothing but destroy my self confidence and capabilities as a mother but which I had to do if only to prove to others that my child wasn't just another 'teenager'. She is a responsible adolescent with clear ideas of right and wrong. She is old beyond her years in more ways than one and has the looks of as 18 year old rather that a nearly 16 year old. Her funny side is coming back and I've missed her.

I hope for the strength to live from day to day trying not to throw up the past in her face and hoping that she has learned from events of the past year and looks forward to new beginnings in the New Year.

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